Walking Around Like Cher From Clueless

So college is over and I'm in this weird place where nothing I've ever known is anymore. My goals have shifted; there is not one particular end point that my efforts are being focused on...

The only job I have right now is to make the most of each day and continue to challenge my mind, as well as my soul, to never stop developing into the best me. 

Sounds easy, right? Well, it doesn't feel easy. It feels like a constant confusion of figuring out how to live in the moment or how to calm my panic attacks that arise from realizing I have nothing set in stone for my future. They say change isn't easy, welp...I totally vouch for that!! In my head I think, "How can I worry about what I'm working out today at the gym when I don't even know what career path I want to take?" The ray of sarcastic sunshine in my head follows with..."Because it's much easier to decide on wanting a tight ass than it is to figure out where I'm spending my 9-5 for the next bajillion years!" 

Then it begins...Do I even want a 9-5? Although the mind boggling equation is relentless in forcing me to figure out the correct answer...I have the advantage of spending my past 5 years being taught how to think logically. There are several factors to take into account:

1. First and Foremost: Tomorrow is not promised. 

It's important to live for today as much as reasonably possible. For all I know, I could get hit by a bus tomorrow. Well, it's probably more likely I'd get shot getting a Papa meal #2 from the local Baker's drive-thru in the good ol city of San Bernardino. 

What good would it do me to stress myself out to hair-losing ends when tomorrow may never come? I mean, maybe if it was pound shedding ends I'd reconsider...

2. Life is going to happen regardless of how much planning you undergo. 

   One of the best memories I've made this summer, maybe even ever...was fully recognized as a plan-ruiner decision! My friends and I planned a weekend trip to the tee! The hotel was booked, the tickets to the game were printed and the bars to follow were decided. We even had our outfits and driver chosen. However, a pit stop (or so we thought) at a lake house was proposed by a group of our friends...and that was that. A pit stop turned into a whole weekend of events secluded to one lake house. We did not stick to one single plan we set forth with. However, I can tell you this, that weekend still gets talked about, even more so laughed about, as if it just happened. The memories and laughs we shared over that unplanned (more like plan-ruining) weekend were some of the best thus far. 

It goes to show that all the plans in the world that you think might be the best to be, can be interrupted and even one-uped. This is not to say that I am not a firm believer in considering your future and making decisions in accordance with your plans. But I do not think plan-keeping and stressing are so strict they allow for no wiggle room. Things don't need to be black and white, sometimes the grey area is one of the best places to be...Right, Mr. Grey? ;)

Living in the moment needs to be just as important as making plans. 

3. I'm 22...okay FINE, I'm 23. 

But in all reality, that's pretty young. My mind is fresh and my soul is free...I have nothing tieing me down. I am allowed to be selfish at this moment in my life and I have learned that that's not necessarily a bad thing. One thing that made my first 2 years of my twenties difficult was that I was worrying about things I shouldn't be stressing about until my thirties. 

When am I going to have kids? How many do I want? When should I get married? What kind of career can I have while still having the lifestyle I desire? Whats the best kind of wrinkle cream? (Pond's anti-aging works great by the way) At what age do I have to cut my hair shorter to look more mature? Do I even have to do that? Which car should I buy to accomodate my life once I'm a mom? (I was 19 by the way!!!!) 

Let me point out that these questions weren't necessarily in priority level...

This is one of the qualities that has helped me be successful in life thusfar; all these neverending questions my mind seems to never fail to produce. Not only has it kept me on my toes, it has ensured that I never became wreckless. I always liked the "known." If we are being honest..."liked" is an understatement. I needed the "known" and I didn't always get that. This was one of the hardest things for me to accept. 

Now I have begun to challenge myself to embrace the unknown. Step by step I take not knowing where the next step goes. Will it be forward or backward? Can you even really take a step backwards? I'd like to think not. No matter the step, it's leading you to where you need to be. 

I sit knowing one thing in life for certain, my passion to travel. 

Ecuador is on my list. I've been blessed with an amazing opportunity to stay with family friends who have opened their home to me in order to help fulfil my desire to explore and help those in need. Anytime I tell someone about my next journey most people respond with: "Aren't you scared?" "Don't bad things happen in South America?" "Wouldn't it be safer going with someone?" 

...after I mentally say to myself, "Well, your life must be pretty boring" My actual response never seems to change:

   I'd rather be living a little more dangerously while satisfying my soul than staying in my comfort zone and remaining unsatisfied. 

Let's be honest here...my current city of residence has record breaking murder rates this year. Life is going to happen regardless where you are, as long as I use my best judgement and trust in The Lord, I know I will be fine. 

Going to a new country even for as short of a time as I am...It's scary, exciting and leaves me anxious in more ways than one. But I savor this feeling...for I might never experience it again. 

I want to use this blog to practice my writing, maybe one day I can be a travel writer? Who knows...this is just one chapter of my life long novel.